The Environment

I've had profound experiences when I have moved apartments. Now, a psychiatrist could say, change your view of this or that. The problem isn't the apartment, it's in your head.

But I'm an animist and I feel most things are outside of me and my head. I think there's an invisible world amongst us. Of course, I'm not writing about how the senses inform the brain. In that sense (pun intended), yes, it's all "in our heads." I mean I believe there's an inner and outer world, and both are very real. And that the outer world also contains energies, feelings and thoughts.

There's a lot of self help literature out there (which I enjoy reading), but a lot of it simply doesn't work for me. Oh, and I've heard it all. "The reason it's not working for you is because you're supposed to assume and be thankful for already receiving it." "You're simply not in alignment with your higher self." "Become more present." All great advice, but sometimes what needs to happen is a change, a big change, on the outer world and this involves packing up and getting out of your situation in a very physical way.

This may entail having a difficult conversation with your roommate as you move, breaking someone's heart for your own happiness, or simply realizing that no matter how many times you paint your apartment, it's just not the right space for you.

The gut knows. I was working at a restaurant (well, I was training. I didn't make it past the training phase) named Joe Allen's. My gut knew it wasn't the right place, yet my brain kept saying, "You can do it. It's good money." Of course, it didn't work out for me. I ended up going to a writer's conference, which I had planned to blow off due to this great new job I had.

Now. This is different than "giving up." The universe, I'm not sure why, tests us when we make a resolution. This does take resolve to get through these tests. I think it's that the universe creates brick walls for other people, to keep the riff-raff out, so to speak.

When it comes to cosmic timing, or cosmic testing, I've failed miserably. LOL. But that's another post.